Recently

The wheels have fallen off as we trudge toward the end of the year. Last month was met with a short, sharp, fall-through-the-floor depressive episode. These aren’t new for me. I can normally feel them coming, like thunderheads sliding over the ocean, but there’s no guessing the length or depth. It was a bad one. That it happened around my birthday, when I turned into a forty-year-old man, is obviously a coincidence.

At the end of the month, our IVF cycle didn’t work and… it’s been hard. It’s not so much a feeling of emptiness but of being emptied. Of something being removed. Ciel and I will spend the holiday break in the quiet and regroup as much as we can. With a hope for better things in 2025.

Watching

When I’ve been able to, I’ve been catching up on Doctor Who. I had bounced off it hard from fatigue somewhere in the Smith era, but ABC Family recently started re-airing old episodes and I’ve been sucked back in. I have now seen all of Eleven and, as of this weekend, all of Twelve. I think Capaldi’s Doctor is the most human the character has been. At least since the reboot. And that makes him the most interesting. And Clara more interesting too. Will keep watching, cautiously, but doubt those three seasons will be bettered.

Current Status

Cat: Decorated

Writing: No

Hands: Touching hands